The Queen of Freece
by Turtle Queen of Freeks
Summary: Another Sisterhood of the Traveling Queens story. They never die! This is a Wizard of Oz fanfic, the book not the movie. READ!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Wizard of Oz. Nor do I plan to. This is the only time I shall post this disclaimer as both you and I have better things to do. I own Freece, and its history is open to anyone who knows where to go. Read.

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**Author's Note: **You ought to recognize these characters as they're used in most of my stories. The AP's have been taken out due to lack of space. I may add a few of them in, but only if they ask nicely.

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**Note to the Sisterhood of the Traveling Queens: **If I took your character out, it's only because you didn't come to mind when I chose the characters. Do not bite my head off. Do not throw things at me. Just shut up and read already.

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**Prologue **

Once upon a time, there was a group of friends who lived in a pointless city in Florida. I shall not say that nothing ever happened there, but truly interesting things were a rare occurrence. This group of friends was (and always had been) rather odd for their generation, and some might say that is what made them stay friends, a shared place in the school they spent their days at. Over the years, one of the friends, known as Paprika, went to a different school as the others. One, known as Giraffe, separated herself from the others. Two new members joined the group. One left the next year; one stayed despite the chaos. Another joined and became known as Ivy. One died and was remembered. Thus the group became the Sisterhood of the Traveling Queens. They invented their own worlds and wrote odd stories about them. They became queens and spoke non-existent languages. But most of all, they became closer than family.

It was the summer before they went to high school. It was the summer they left middle school (and tacky uniforms) behind. It was the summer they found their world.

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It all started when Turtle's family began remodeling the office building where the family business was located. Little did they know that this would lead Turtle and her friends into some of the strangest (and sometimes more dangerous) situations.

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It was a Thursday that day downtown. Monkey was having a last-minute going away party before she moved to Chicago for the next year. As such, they were reminiscing upstairs, away from the adults. Turtle sat on the floor (as she hated the couch's fabric and said it looked Amish) next to Monkey, the only one in the room with short hair. Horse was sitting on the couch, wondering why she was the only normal one in the group, while Aquarius, her cousin, sat at a desk that hadn't been used for actual work since the nineties. The conversation had been lingering on the strange inside jokes over the years (including coffee and the dalai llama) but was swiftly moving on to things they had done. "Oh, my gosh, remember when you burnt that cookie?" Turtle asked Monkey, whilst laughing.

Monkey stuck out her tongue. Turtle had been over at Monkey's house when Monkey had been taken with the sudden idea that, if they put a cookie in the microwave, they could melt it, thus making it into a gooey delicious blob of dough and chocolate. Turtle had finally agreed to try it out, so they put the cookie on a paper towel and put it in the microwave. The problem was that neither of them knew how long it took to melt a cookie. They found out when the cookie began to smoke. This had led to the Burnt Cookie Award a few months later, an award for the dumbest idea of the year that was carried out. Naturally, Monkey had won said award that year.

"Turtle, you helped burn it too," Horse chided. Horse had always been the Mother Teresa of the group. Whenever someone was being teased or anyone was being mean or rude, she sided with the underdog, usually Monkey. Even when Monkey started poking Horse in the arm, she did nothing more than tell her to stop. She was that kind-hearted.

"Only because I wanted to see if it would work!" replied Turtle. She was always getting into trouble, sometimes for that very reason. But most of the time it seemed her sharp tongue with people who weren't her friends that got her into trouble, though that was tied with her strange ideas and the times she acted on impulse. She always had a reason, though, and that's better than some people.

They were all laughing now. "Speaking of which," asked Turtle. "Has anybody got up the guts to say, 'So we meet again, Mengledorf,' to her face?"

"Nope. I'd do it, but she's family," replied Aquarius. Aquarius and Horse were related to at least fifteen people in their school alone, including each other.

Monkey had been quiet for a while now. Turtle waved an arm in front of her face. "Earth to Monkey."

Monkey moved her arm and said, "Quit it! You made me lose it!"

The others were curious now. "Lose what?" asked Aquarius.

"The- I don't know what it is," replied Monkey.

"What's it look like?" asked Horse.

"There it is!" whispered Monkey, pointing. The others looked closer. It looked like a sparkling thread was moving across the wall. It seemed to be made up of more colors than the girls knew the names of, and it was moving. It seemed only natural that they should follow it.

The thread moved toward the door and paused, as though waiting for them. The girls hurried after it, without saying a word. They didn't need to; no one needed encouragement to follow the sparkling thread. It moved along the old hallway and to a door locked by a bent nail. Turtle reached up and turned the nail so that its tape faced away from the door, before opening the door. They were all rather disappointed when they saw the darkness. Turtle reached up and pulled a string. The light switched on, revealing a dusty old wooden staircase surrounded by crumbling brick walls. The stairs turned to their right and up to the third (and top) floor. They followed the thread up without question. It was only when they saw the ladder leading to the roof that they began to worry. But the thread passed it quickly. It seemed to be wider now, and longer. It extended more threads, like tentacles along the wall. The thread moved toward the floor, forming a pool of shimmering liquid. The girls knelt before it, staring down in wonder. That's when a large arm with golden fur reached out and grabbed Aquarius. She didn't have time to scream before she was pulled into the pool. And then she disappeared.

The rest of the girls didn't have time to run away but were also pulled into the pool in rapid succession: Horse by a metal arm, Monkey by one with stitches, and Turtle by a tiny tiger's paw. The pool faded into the ancient floorboards. Its work was done.


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** I would like to thank the lovely people at Piglet Press who allowed me to read the Wonderful Wizard of Oz online when I forgot to bring my book with me. I would also like to point fingers at them if you don't like this chapter. It's their fault it exists.

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**Chapter 1**

**Thump**

Turtle landed on top of something squishy with a thump and a rather disgusting crunch. Grumbling, she got herself off of whatever it was and looked around for whoever's fault this was, so she could yell at them. What she saw instead were gorgeous flowers, birds with feathers of every color of the rainbow (and a few that rainbows didn't even know about), and a sparkling creak. And some very short people in dressed in blue, except for one who was dressed in white. Turtle did not have time to yell at any of them before the woman in white said, "You are welcome, most noble Sorceress, to the land of the Munchkins. We are so grateful to you for having killed the Bitchy Witch of the East, and for setting our people free from bondage."

Turtle blinked once. And then she blinked again. And then she suddenly burst into hysterical laughter. The Munchkins looked at one another in confusion. "That's just fine and dandy, but would you mind telling me how exactly I killed this bitchy person?" asked Turtle when she saw that they were serious. "I didn't exactly bring a house with me."

The Munchkins continued to look at her questioningly, but none of them said anything. The woman in white continued, "You landed on her when you fell from the sky."

"Oh, thanks. My self-esteem is certainly helped by you saying I killed some bitchy lady by landing on her. Now I'm gonna have to become an anorexic," Turtle muttered. The woman in white pretended not to hear her.

"See! There's her ugly old corpse with her silver shoes!" the woman in white continued.

"Oh, crap. My first few minutes here and I've already got people talking ill of the dead."

"There is nothing to be done." The Bitchy Witch of the East's corpse shriveled up, leaving a smell like rotten fish.

"Ew." Turtle made a face. "Who was she?"

"She was the Bitchy Witch of the East, like I just told you," said the woman in white, with a look that plainly said, "Duh." "She has held all the Munchkins in bondage for many years, making them slave for her night and day. Now they are all set free, and are grateful to you for the favor."

"And those are the Munchkins?"

"Of course!" The woman in white's high-pitched voice combined with her fall was starting to give Turtle a headache.

"And you would be. . ."

"I am the Witch of the North!"

"Right. Well, good luck with that. I'm gonna go find a yellow brick road now. See ya!"

"But there aren't any yellow brick roads here." The Witch of the North, who was beginning to really get on Turtle's nerves, cocked her head to the side in confusion.

"Then how am I gonna get to Oz?"

"Who's Oz?"

"The wizard you're about to tell me about!"

"Huh?"

"Who can take me back to Florida?" Turtle asked, attempting to be patient.

"Florida? Where's that?"

"Where I came from. And I want to get back. Who can help me?" Turtle was beginning to feel like she was explaining algebra to a kindergartener.

"Why, the Queen of Freece of course! She lives in Frakken."

"Frakken? As in the capital city of Freece, land of the Freeks, home of the strange?"

"What other Frakken is there?"

"The one that doesn't exist."

The Witch of the North blinked in confusion.

"How do I get to Frakken?"

"Follow the green toadstool road."

"The what?"

"It's a wonderful road made of bright green mushrooms that leads between the countries here!"

"Which way is it?"

"You're standing in it."

Turtle looked down and found that this was true. "Oh, right then. Well, I'll be seeing you." She began to walk very quickly in the opposite direction.

"Wait! These shoes are yours now!" The Witch of the North shook some Bitchy Witch dust out of the silver shoes.

Turtle grabbed them and said, "Goodbye, little Munchkin creatures! Goodbye!" Then she ran off with strange looks at the Witch of the North.

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"That was rather odd," said the Witch of the North, blinking stupidly. "Oh, well."

The Munchkins rolled their eyes at their new stupid leader. Even the Bitchy Witch of the East hadn't been this bad.


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** I certainly hope you're happy now that I'm updating. And as such I think you should send me some chocolate chip cookies. Or you can just review. Also, "Toto" and the scarecrow are coming up in this chappy. I'd prefer it if you didn't flame me, because straw is highly flammable. And inflammable. It's so weird that those mean the same thing. You know?

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**Author's Explanations:** Hobari is the Carnival City of Freece. They won't let you in if you look vaguely "normal". So wearing beige to Hobari would be . . . bad. 'Sempre uko buene mene uko' is a Frecian saying. It literally means, "Always wear good underwear."

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**Chapter 2**

**Straw for Brains and a Flying Tiger**

After a few minutes of walking, Turtle realized that something was following her. She didn't think it was a Munchkin. Nor did she think it was the scarecrow that would be coming up. After wracking her brains for what it might be, she finally came across the idea of Toto. But wouldn't a dog make more noise? Besides, if the yellow brick road and Oz weren't there, who was to say that Toto would be?

Turtle finally became frustrated enough that she whirled around to see what was following her. And was greeted by a large cat pouncing on her chest. She shrieked in surprise. Once again, Turtle landed with a thump. But at least this time there was no crunch. "What the hell did I do to you?"

_"It's your fault that I'm stuck here with a bunch of smelly old mushrooms instead of in my nice warm nest playing with a freshly caught mouse," _said a voice in Turtle's head.

"Dude, you're telepathic?"

_"Yes, mortal. Now bow down to my almighty pimpin-freshness."_

"Cool, but not that cool. Who- and what- are you?" The cat would have been rather like a tiger kitten if it weren't for the white, feathered wings sprouting from its back.

_"A Frecian Flying Tiger of course. I'm Tigris, granddaughter of Tagri, goddess of . . . stuff."_

"So you're basically my Toto for the trip?"

_"Nowhere near. _Toto_ was a pet. _I_ am just here because the Queen made me come."_

"Who's this Queen everyone keeps talking about?"

_"The Queen of Freece, of course. Queen Gabriella. She already explained to me about your world. Apparently she's been there, although I'm not quite sure why. Who'd want to live in a world where they had to resort to electricity? And your government is absolutely appalling."_

"Well, I agree with you there. So what happened to Horse and Aquarius and Monkey? How do they fit into all this?"

_"The Queen did not see fit to tell me. Now put on the damn shoes."_

"Why? Heels aren't exactly that great to walk in."

_"Too bad. Besides your old shoes are ugly. As they say in Freece, 'Sempre uko buene mene uko.'"_

"Always wear good underwear? What's that got to do with the bitchy lady's shoes?"

_"It's the principle of things. You don't want to show up in Frakken in those shoes, do you? It'd be like showing up in Hobari in beige."_

"They don't even match my outfit!"

Tigris scratched at her face. _"Put on the damn shoes."_

"Fine then." Turtle sat down where the green of the mushrooms blended into the green of the grass and took off her tennis shoes. She kept her purple socks on as she put on the sparkly silver shoes. The heel appeared to have shrunk and widened until there was barely any heel at all. "Cool."

That night, Tigris and Turtle spent the night in the home of a wealthy Munchkin known as Bob. Bob, like the rest of the Munchkins, was obsessed with the color blue and had never been to Frakken. As such he had no idea how far away it was. Munchkins didn't care much for geography.

The next morning they set off again. It was around noon when Turtle heard a scarecrow suddenly yell out, "Turtle!"

She turned to find where the voice came from and saw a scarecrow waving its arms at her. The scarecrow looked a lot like . . .. "Monkey? What are you doing on a pole?"

"Blame the farmer."

"Ah." Seeing as scarecrows are made of straw, and straw is very light, Turtle was able to get Monkey off the pole and back on the ground.

"Where'd you get the shoes? What's up with that cat? How come you got to be Dorothy? Who's fault is this? Are we gonna kick their butt soon? Where are we going?" Monkey was interrupted by Tigris who pounced on her with such ferocity that Monkey fell down in the corn. Luckily Monkey was made out of straw, so it didn't really hurt.

"Bad Tigris."

Tigris gave Turtle a look that clearly said, "You've got to be kidding me."

Turtle ignored this and said. "Let's talk while we walk." She helped Monkey up, and they continued on the green toadstool road.

"The shoes used to belong to the Bitchy Witch of the East. I sort of fell on top of her when I got here. Tigris made me wear them." Tigris hissed. "Tigris isn't a cat by the way. She's a Frecian Flying Tiger sent by the Queen of Freece to watch over us."

"What?"  
"The current Queen of Freece is Queen Gabriella. We're going to Frakken to see her."

"If Freece is real, then does that mean Insani is too?"

_"Yes, foolish mortal. As is the Sea of Miari, the Mountains of Bunakro, Hobari, Jucla, and just about everything else that obviously exists."_

Monkey stuck her tongue out at Tigris. "Who made us come here?"

"Dunno."

"Are we gonna kill them till they die?"

"Hope so. Otherwise what's the point in coming?"

"Where's the yellow brick road?"

"There isn't one. We get stuck with the green toadstool road."

"Damn. Does that mean we can't sing any of the songs from the movie?"

"Well, you can still sing If I Only Had a Brain."

"Hey!" Monkey whacked Turtle in the arm. Turtle rubbed her arm and stuck out her tongue. They may have been going into high school, but since when was that a sign of maturity?

"Well, it's true! You have straw for brains!"

_"She is right you know."_

"Oh, shut up." Monkey pouted as they walked along.

The three travelers spent the night in a forest that the road went through. They even had a strange sort of nightlight, because the green mushrooms glowed in the dark.


End file.
